brain color

What better way to zombie-proof yourself than to shrink your brain? That’s right, you can easily make yourself too stupid to be a target for the walking dead with these five simple techniques.

1) Avoid sleep. Loads of research shows that sleep makes you smarter. Avoid sleep and keep the walking dead–and good grades–away.

2) Never take . Students who take good notes–notes that don’t just capture the information but actually help them process the information–are asking for zombie attention. They might as well ring the walking dead dinner bell. Taking good notes makes you smarter. Avoid it and the will avoid you.

3) Avoid exercise. At first thought, exercise might seem like a good idea. Of the 32 Rules of Survival from the movie Zombieland, cardio is number one. Now, I love Jesse Eisenberg, Bill Murray, Emma Stone, and Woody Harrelson, as much as the next guy, but really, Hollywood? Even a passing glance at the research on how exercise boosts brain performance would show that exercise is to your brain what sriracha sauce is to… practically anything.

4) Don’t cram. Most students think cramming makes you . Wrooong. Cramming makes you stupid! Cram. Cram. and Cram some more to keep the from your door.

5) Avoid others. Again, Hollywood gets it wrong. Again, Zombieland’s 32 Rules of Survival are to blame. Rule number 9 is The Buddy System. The idea is that a buddy can watch your back, but you don’t need anyone to watch your back if your brain is too scrawny to ring the walking dead dinner bell. Working with a study group (if you’re actually studying) makes you smarter!

If you want to avoid the walking dead, don’t fatten up your cerebral cortex; go the idiot route. Go stupid or go home. Avoid making your melon into the zombie version of catnip by ¬†avoiding sleep, exercise, notes, and other buddies. Cram, instead. You will be dumb as a rock and about as appetizing when the walking dead hit the streets, shopping malls, and institutions of higher education in your area.

Find out more fabulous ways to give zombies the slip by looking here and doing exactly the opposite. Help me out by sharing/liking this post!

© Cody Blair, All Rights Reserved.


Comments are closed