Killer Number Two – Mr. Slice-n-dice


Little strokes fell great oaks. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. The journey of a thousand miles begins with …. Don’t make me pull out my beeg aphorisms.

Whatever terrible task is your current bitter procrastination pill, realize you don’t have to do it all right now. You just need to take the next step. Yes, I know every self-help guru worthy of his shelf space at the bargain book shop has said the same. The reason they all say it is because it’s True. True like the-sky-is-blue. True like every odd numbered Star Trek movie reeks (nods to Spaced). Just focus on taking one. More. Step.

Next step a doozy? Then chunk that step into smaller steps. Keep doing that until the steps are so laughably lilliputian you’re ashamed not to take them.

Need a ‘zample? Say your avoiding writing the Complete Compendium of Things That Would Bore a Comatose Sloth. “Agony! Woe! I’ll never get it finished and every minute will be finger-nail-pulling torture. It’s going to run to thousands of pages. I’ll spend weeks just covering angiosperms!” Tut, tut. Just figure out the first tiny step.

How about arming yourself with a writing implement. So small a step it’s embarrassing not to do it. Goose quill  in hand, it’s time to proceed with the next minuscule step. Write down three more boring bits; “staff meetings, Amish recipes for caulk, Plavix ads.” Now get three more. Etc. By the time you’ve reached “picking out wedding invitations” (guys) or “choosing the best fishing line” (girls)*, you’re well on your way!

*Before accusing me of sexism ask fifty random strangers of each gender which they would consider more boring. Get back to me.



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